why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
