why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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