3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
