fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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