We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
