I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
