I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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