You work out of a Hotel?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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