Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
