I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
