Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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