The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
