Pappa wants mamma naked
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
