no you cant smoke seaweed
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
