Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
