Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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