I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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