I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
