great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
