haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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