apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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