3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
