Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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