I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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