moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
