i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
