Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
