she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
