You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
