Cold hands, warm shart.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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