he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
