My first STD was from a foam party
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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