I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
