why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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