we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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