Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
