Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
