I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
