Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
