maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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