i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
