...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
