I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize