bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize