Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
