I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
