Sponge bath it is.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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