How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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