the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize