And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
