what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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