would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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