But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
