It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize