3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
