You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My life is pants optional.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
