and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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