Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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