So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
