You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
