sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
