my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
