So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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