So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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