you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Randomize
