He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
