the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So gin and wine won't be happening again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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