i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
